Shut up and give me my fucking groceries

Tuesday, May 9th — 9:18 p.m.
WalMart: Lewisville, TX

(coversation that took place at the checkout counter between myself and Holly, the weathered cashier)

Me: Hi, how are you?

Holly: Ready to go home.

Me: Yeah, me too.

Holly: Are you just gettin off work?

Me: No, I've been off since six, but it doesn't feel like it.

Holly: Do you have a husband and kids to get home to?

Me: Um, no, just a dog.

Holly: It sucks to be all alone. I've been married for 12 years [inaudible] drink with. It's just horrible to be alone all the time. I can't imagine.

Me: Uhhhhh. Thanks.

Holly: $70.92 is your total.

Me: Awesome.


Song of the day — "I Wish You Wouldn't Say That" by the Talking Heads

- Lindsay

Too drunk to drive the noodle...?

We went on a last minute adventure to the lake. We spent an evening in Austin on 6th street and then partied it up at the lake the rest of the weekend. Ill admit Austin is a total good time, but I still will never turn my back on my beloved Sooners! We had a lonvely breakfast of champions consisting of Migas and Mimosas/ Bloody Marys while listending to Frank Sinatra (we are a classy bunch!) before we headed out to Devils Cove. We headed out with three coolers full of beer and like 24 waters. While on the lake I unfortunatly did not pay any attention to the entire lack of water and food I was not having and instead only had drinks with alcohol in them. Seeing as how I am by choice a total lightweight. THIS WAS A DUMB IDEA. I was just having too much fun jumping in the water and dancing to loud music and generally just having a good time to realize that if you only have 3-4 drinks over a period of 4 or 5 hours and they all have alcohol in them- you are going to be too drunk to drive the noodle... Which I said when I kept losing my floating noodle in the lake. The water and my stomach got choppy for a couple of hours, and I slept for like 15 trying to recover. I did however get to see the lake at 3AM looking amazing and perfect and then I passed back out. Next time Im sticking to 1 mimosa and water- I want to be able to drive my noodle. Here we are post adventure boating back into the slip to head home

We returned with maybe 5 beers and 12 waters. This is why everyone had so much fun!
I had an absolut(e) ball- and Lindsay and I are now saving up for our own boat- The Shlitz Madonna. Where we will all drink Mimosas and listen to Frank Sinatra every morning. I pretty much adore the people we went with and the adventures we had.

I was a first rate, first mate and lindsay was a super skipper!
Song o' the day is :Row Row Row your boat by whomever you choose!

Danger Danger- High Voltage!

Im not one to brag... oh wait I am.
I love my job- 96% of the time. I mean I get to work on an account I like with people that are funny and I can pretty much do whatever I want. This includes wear a t-shirt and jeans to work at least twice a week. Some people do it more than that I just try to liven things up a bit more then that. We really only have three rules, im only going into one.

***No flip-flops. This all happened because a really important person at our company came to visit and met a new hire wearing shower worthy flip-flops. The rule used to be no shower flip flops- leather ones were deemed "ok". After that the flip-flop rule became "No, nope, never." Sadly when the bosses are away, we non-bosses play... in our flipflops. We all have an extra pair of shoes in the office for a last minute client run or if the boss comes in when he isnt supposed too.

Today I wore flip-flops because the boss was at a meeting in San Antonio. Hello, he isnt comeing in. I also wore my kick booty Advertising helps me decide shirt, which is always a hit at the office. I notice that several others are taking advantage and wearing rouge flip-flops so i settle in and get some work done. When one of my co-workers walk in we all have a laugh because he is wearing the same shirt, jeans and brown flip flops- basically a taller/man version of me. Yay for non-planned twin days.

Everything was grand until the boss walked in at 1. Hey guys, meeting went great, I decided to catch an earlier flight and come back in. SKKKKEEERRRRR- You see 5 people run abck to their desks to put on their back up shoes, until I remember I wore my back-up shoes home on tuesday when my other shoes started to hurt and those shoes are high-heeled flip-flops. I am currently hiding at my desk hoping he leaves. This is bad because...
1.) I have a bunch of stuff sitting at the printer that i need to get and fax to people, the printer is practically in the bosses office.
2.) I really have to pee.
3.) my foot keeps falling asleep and i want to wake it up and i cant move out from under my desk.
4.) The fire alarm keeps going off forcing our office to pretend to evacuate. Boss keeps walking out and looking at us and I am having to try to hide behind things.
5.) The afore mentioned fire alarm is really loud and located right near my desk.


Also to note- My computer told me about 20 minutes ago that it needed to shut itself down for unknown reasons. If my computer wants to kill itself it needs to tell me why, not just that its going to do it.

Me and my twin of a co-worker are going to be twins again because we just bought vintage Datsun 250Z t-shirt decals to put on shirts and wear to our next client informal meeting because my "client that I do not speak of" happens to have a close relationship with Datsun.

Song o' the day is - Danger! Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six in honor of the screaming fire alarm and my illegal shoes all making things "dangerous" around me.

Yay! Boss man just left, I can stop hiding at my desk!
-Liz Out!

Oklahoma is OK

I just returned from a weekend in OKC. After arriving at the airport for my 5:15 flight at like 5:09 on Friday only to find out that its delayed an hour- I was kinda worried about the weekend being fun. Dayton my best friends hubby and all around champ of a guy picked me up from the airport and wisked me to his house for one heck of a house party. There was cooking out, shots on the hour and my personal favorite (because I made it for my best friend Abby) DRUNK JENGA!!! Its a regular game of jenga with different things you have to do written on the bottom, such as "Social", "Rhyme Time", "Drink/Give 16". The more everyone had to drink the better the entire group got at it- I will get a picture or our amazing tower it was like 36 levels high which I have never seen. If you broke the tower- you had to bong a beer. Thats right, we are grownups, the couple hosting the event owns their house is married and both have respectable jobs. Everyone but me because I was bringing myself had to bring a food item- this was your parents cookout/evening party- until you hear the hubby say to his wife "You ready to bong a beer?". The Hostess managed to break the tower and that started the whole beer bong thing. I want pictures of that too- nothing says "married" like beer bongs to me.

Saturday night was the enagement party for my friend Heather. I got to wear a cute dress, see my beautiful friends and drink free champy- its a good night in Oklahoma! I got to see my "brother-in-law" WHO IS MOVING TO DALLAS!!! Lots of adult chit-chat, picture taking, a toast or two and me and my best friend took off for SKKY BAR because my "BIL"/her boy is a VIP. I have way to many good pictures to document this night that continued to have champy and finally some dancing. The future bride and groom came and joined us making the night all the more fun. I can say with all honesty- cant wait for that wedding!

Sunday was totally beautiful outside after two days of on and off rain and I spent it with the family and then met Sarah at starbucks for a music/picture cd exchange which we have to do every few weeks and then took off to make my 5:15 flight at Will Rogers. OH WAIT- I get there at 4:45 and find out its delayed until 7:15 ( I should have been home in my apartment by the time my flight was going to take off). I had to buy a book and enjoy some sonic. Finally touched down at 9:00 because the plane didnt take off at 7:15 either. $23 cab ride later and I am cruising in my car back to watch Greys and pass out for work. I stopped for some dinner fast food and went home. I was in bed by 11.

I was sick by 11:15. I spent my entire night sleeping on my bathroom floor. I called my boss at 8:15 and told him that there was no way I could come in. I feel like crap for two reasons now, Im litterally sick and now Im going to be behind at work and or my entire team is now having to pick up my slack. Hello, my name is Liz and I am a work-a-holic. HI LIZ!

THe only upside to this, and the entire reason Im using the first 20 minutes I don't feel like im going to die to blog are. Law and Order. I was flipping channels to find something on I could fall back asleep watching and I saw Ellen Pompelo or Meredith Grey on GA get shot. I have watched her talk to the police and I am now wating to find out who almost killed her. Then Im going back to bed so that I can hopefully see my friend Chris tonight since he is in town. Im actually starting to feel hungry so this must be a good sign I am not going to die. UPDATE: Ellen Pompelo was the bad guy, she got shot to cover up what she did. She is a dirty mistress.

(this got really long, really fast. Sorry about that.)
Im back to bed.
-Liz