Take me out to the ballpark

So..... Lindsay got tickets to the Rangers through an Ampers& drawing. Myself, Lindsay, R.S Yager and Whitney made our plans to meet at Hooters from some wings before the game. Its more important to point out that I, Lindsay and Whitney made plans to eat at a Hooters and attend a sporting event-3 girls planned that and brought along a boy. My office eats at Hooters anytime we go to Rangers games- its a convient bus.

While eating our wings, drinking our drinks a youngish cute guy comes in with an absolutly adorable 2-3 year old girl that looked just like Dora the Explorer and a baby carrier with a little baby in it. 10 minutes later still no sign of a woman joining him, and no wedding ring. Seriously the guy was so so so cute, and we started joking about my becoming a step-mother. There were some interesting moments with celery and finally while I was in the bathroom Lindsay wrote on a napkin.

Call me for a playdate sometime (or something along those lines).
405-xxx-xxxx.

Liz

She then gave it to the guy.
He still hasnt called at 2:30PM on Sunday. I dont think Im going to be a step-mom anytime soon.

We also saw the rangers lose, a couple of boys woo hoo at us (and quasi-pop their collars) and WK met the german man of her dreams who had 0% flirting personality. He really didnt want to be our friend. Seriously his way fo flirting was to growl at her. Drinks at Sherlocks, parking lot rocking out to HSATRG and we all headed home.

Sweet Ads

Lindsay forgot to mention that the sell-out includes the fact that Google tailors the ads that show up to match what you are discussing on your blog.

One of todays corporate sell-out adds feature Gummi Lobsters.

I think this is hilarious and is now one of the featured food groups of the True and Amazing Girls.

Yah- the song is now "Lobstereater" instead of "maneater"




We will have a giant bowl of these in our new place, im just sure of it.

Liz

SOLD OUT

The girls of True and Amazing have officially sold out. You may have noticed the lovely banner ad. The adventures we embark upon aren't free, so we've decided to rake in some extra income. By extra imcome, we mean like millions. Millions of American dollars. We'll be able to quit our jobs and live off the fat of the blog.

For reals yo, we just wanted to see how it works. We promise not to let the $0.14/month (pre-tax) go to our heads. You can still look forward to the same vapid, irrelevant content you've become accustomed to. Except now, you get to see some awesome banners, too! (So click on them a lot and buy whatever they're selling so we can make some cold hard cash moneys.)

And there's more! Keep an eye out for our weekly (or whatever) "Corporate Whores" financial statements! Tune in to see the raving success or dismal failure of our get-less-poor-quick scheme. Either way, it's sure to become extra rad around here.

See you soon. I'll miss you.

- Lindsay

Come and Knock on our Door!

I think its finally time to announce that we may have actually found a place to live- FINALLY!!!!!!

I think we will be found in good ole Addison come the end of August. Let the good times roll!

The sky is falling at an alarming rate

I have only been in three wrecks in my entire life- all of them happened between July 2005- June 2006 on Dallas Highways in evening rush hour. I thought I survived my first year in Dallas with only my bumper really taking the beating.

TODAY BEGAN A NEW ERA- the July 2006- June 2007 era of insanity on the Dallas Highways, that now includes MORNING rush hour.

My usual route is 635W to 35S to 114 and then I hop off on the O'Connor exit and BAM- I'm right at work.

As I was driving on 635W this morning at approximately 8:46AM my life flashed before my eyes. I see something flying at my windshield- to use a quote here out of context- "Is it a plane? Is it Superman?- NO ITS A FREAKING BIRD." I wasn't positive it was a bird until it kept flying backwards after its plunge into my windshield, where it came to rest on the highway and Im pretty sure a Semi took care of the rest if my windshield didn't send it to heaven. I honestly think it was a crow- and I think the incident took a good 3 years off of my life.


Speaking of my life. Its my parents 27th wedding anniversary which I choose to look at as the anniversary of my parents committing to each other so that 3 1/2 years later they could get to have me. When I said this to my mother during our "Hey a bird just hit my windshield talk" she had a good chuckle. So people who celebrate all the worlds holidays with me- Have a drink for Lisa and Joe.

-Liz "The sky really is falling"

Strike a Match

I ate buritos last night with a boy that was perfectly nice and is a friend of a friend. There are a few inside jokes rolling around the "Real World Dallas" crew right now as there always are- this time thought its been at my expense.

Hense I present a present from Lindsay that either you will like becaues its funny in general or because you know the inside joke from the other night. As if anyone needed another reason at our age to think that online dating was scary- now you have proof their advertising is basically one of the sadder things out there. I present Match.com's way to get people to join them via myspace.




I am also going to maintain that Greenville has a superior Freebirds to Addison.

Complicated creatures

“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
Madame de Stael quotes

Boys are complicated creatures. I say this having known a bunch- and not in the way that sounds. There are many boys whose opinion I would take over a girl's.

A few things boys should note that make life less confusing for girls.

1) don't use any phrase similar to "cant you keep an open mind about (fill in basicallanythingng here)"
2) don't tell a girl you never have your phone when she has spent the entire weekend watching you never be without it.
3) If you want something to be a date- CALL IT A DATE. We cant read minds, and we spend half the day either playing off our friends referringng to it as a date and the other half wondering if it is.


I know, blah blah boys think girls are confusing. I think its just a vicious circlehencese the quote above.

On a another note:
This shirt is basically the most perfect/funny shirt I have seen in weeks. If we ever get the our future boat the "Shlitz Madonna" or start a dodgeball team- I will be buying us these shirts as part of our uniform. The shirt seems both seaworthy and dodgeball worthy.


Seriously, its quite clear I should have minored in BOYS.

Lobsters

A typical IM conversation during work.... Some parts and names are changed to protect both ourselves and whomever else we discussed but the typos are still very real.
...
of course he's excited
he thinks you're his lobster
crustaceans unite!

im bringing cupcakes
im going to go to society in the morning
since i told him i would bring him a birthday cake
WE HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE

they dont make moves, they make strategic plays
still
lobster
i almost typed lovster
which i may like better
lovster
wow
No word from ****** today
i almost wrote him an email last night
since he went to bed at 945
and told me not to stay up too late
when i was still working at midnight i almost sent him
one saying he sucks
ha
can i really like a person that i have met for a total
I have met for a total of two hours and didnt even talk
one on one with?

can i really juggle two lobsters?
you shared drinks
im going to have to get a cage
thats true
that counts as double the time
i did force my drinks on him
emphasis on the DRINKS
we all need a good cage sometimes

i mean a cage for them
and rubberbands for their pinchers
we can not cage men
so they dont kill each other in a jealous rage
oh we can
we must cage ourselves to
we can TIE em up
haha
much like divers on shark week
HAHAHAHA
I am blogging this
i am so blogging this
too funny

i realized i cant protect the names
since God knows who reads this

you must protect the names
i know
i will

good good
**** left his wallet at my apt
oh nice
it's on my headboard
how trashy is that
sounding
hahaha
thats now going in the blog
haha
noooo
im protecting everything
i don't know if he reads it...

The American Way

The 4th of July has come and gone and now it is time to reflect upon the awesomnicity that was our nation's birthmas - 2006 style. I celebrated the day with a lovely cookout complete with sweet World Cup action between the Guineas and Natzis, some bombass chicken and drinking games in front of a 67" display of It's Always Sunny in Philedelphia. After a brief recess at home, I headed to Denton, TX. This is where the real story begins.

I arrive at the house at 10:30PM. I walk in to witness some illegal activity. I act calm. I make friends with a stuffed fish whose name I can't recall at the moment. The rest of our party arrives. We procure fuel and beer before heading to what was supposed to be the largest fireworks stand in the state of Texas. More illegal activity occurs. (I'm learning a lot at this point, like seriously being schooled in things I wish I didn't know about.) With a trunk full of fireworks and beer, we drive to BFE to set up shop.

I had underestimated how difficult it is to find an area suitable for illegal fireworks, but there are a lot of variables to consider — proximity to houses and major roads, amount of barbed wire, wild man beasts, etc. I will now describe the hunt by using portions of dialogue from the parties involved.

Location 1
Wait, is this a runway? What are those lights? Shit, this is definitely a runway. I don't think we're supposed to be here. Turn around! No, don't drive on it! Shut up, I know what I'm doing.

Location 2
Oh this is so perfect. No houses at all. Hey what does that sign say? CAUTION: High Pressure Gas Line. This spot's good. Don't you think they make the outside of a high pressure gas line pretty strong?

Location 3 was a success, and only a few hundred yards down the road from the gas line. More illegal activity occured at location 3, as did explosions and sparkles. There was one small grass fire caused by the parachute dude about 10 minutes after he landed. Total sabotage on his part, but we stomped it out.

I crawled into bed at 4AM with American spirit flowing through my veins like wind through amber waves of grain or whatever.

Life lesson learned on July 4th, 2006:
If you put a tank and a chicken in a face-off, the tank will win. Every time. No amount of screaming "Come on chicken! You bastard! Where's your fiery shit?" is going to help the chicken shoot pyrotechnics out of it's little paper butt any faster. The tank will shoot first and total devastation will ensue.

Me and Dallas our One year love affair

Now that I have officially lived in Dallas for a year let's recap.

Jobs: 1
Number of times I have thought about quitting said job: 100+
Wrecks: 3
Number of wrecks before I moved to Texas: 0
Break-ups: 1
Homicides at my Apartment Complex: 1
Break-ins at GUNPOINT in my Apartment Complex: 6 (including one last night ;[)
Ralph stains on my carpet: 2
Cowboy Boots: 1 pair
Lake trips with people I didnt know before Harriet Tubman Night: 2
I have been lost: 300+
Fellow Dallas Compatriot: Lindsay
Favorite Bar: The Loon or Lee Harveys
Favorite Memory:Lindsays pride in my ordering Royal f*@K shots/ Ralph in a life vest.
Dragons Tamed: 1


Mav's Conference Champions: 1
Mavs Conference Champions before I moved here: 0 (I really think it was me!)
Rangers Games:4


All in all, I think Dallas and I will continue our love affair for years to come. I still have so much to see and do and too many people to meet.
Heres to another glorious year!
-Liz