Sluts and Guts- We brought SexyBack from the grave!

This is Liz's side of the story. Hopefully my roommates will follow up with their own tales of glory-whether they be short or long.

Our party kicked Halloween Ass. I am not going out on a limb here either, I have had several instant messages today that told me as much. I've looked back at pictures, this isn't an understatement- I am pleased to say that its reality.

I was worried about hosting it at a bar, and clearly we should not have been. Sluts and Guts 2006 took place at BlackFinn and it was hilarious. The marks of a good party include.

-Dressing up as a fairy- a slutty princess fairy!
-A sparing partner who will make things sufficiently awkward for the rest of our friendship-Thank you Christiaan!
-An adventure in the men's bathroom to "help" your roommate put on a friend's high school cheerleading costume- GO SAINTS!!
-All kinds of friends and co-workers dressed up and running around the bar.
-Not one but two Santas came and partied.
-While pretending to be a princess, telling a boy that if he doesn't start smiling (because he had a really cute smile)- you will have him beheaded.
-Finding out that the wristband that the bar gave me earned me free MillerLight Drafts all night, and going from your general run of the mill fairy to the MillerLight Fairy and getting all your friends free drafts.
-Having a guy who looks like Nathan show up at the party, but introduces himself as "luke" to other people. Im back to thinking it was him, but goes to show that I dont think I will be hanging out with him anytime soon!
-There was at least one THREESOME proposed that night, that we know of. (It in NO WAY involved any member of the TH)
-Having an after party at Waffle House, where a large black gentleman calls you and the other ladies at your table a racist bitch- and then tells all of you, that you deserve a slap in the face. We are still not sure why.
-Waking up on my couch, because said sparing partner commandeered my bed (by making me feel bad that it was the first real bed he has slept in in 6 weeks), only to find sparing partner gone with a note on my computer about how he would call me later. He did however leave, 1) clothes in my washer 2) clothes hanging in my closet 3) A HUGE GIANT GUN in its case.

There is now a request to begin planning a Christmas party- who isn't excited about that?

Drunk Lindsay: Pseudonym?

My friend Derek (yes, THE Derek of our brother blog) has never met Drunk Lindsay, which is why I think he's kind of fascinated by her.

Derek: how about your drunk name is something like butterscotch
Lindsay: oh i kinda like that
Lindsay: food names are always nice
Lindsay: candy
Derek: yeah
Derek: it cant just be candy though
Lindsay: candy cane?
Lindsay: cotton candy?
Derek: hahaha
Lindsay: rotten candy?
Derek: hahaha
Derek: "Milkdud"

So, should Drunk Lindsay go by Milkdud from now on?

Stormin Norman

And now I present a brief summary of Drunk Lindsay's recent trip to Norman for the homecoming football game against Colorado. Note: there are a lot of holes and undocumented periods of time because this summary is composed of snippets of stories of events that supposedly took place. Big thanks to all those who managed to retain and then share with me these memories and observations.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20
Lots of beer. Lots of shots. Went to Logans. Lots of dancing. Took a photo with a girl wearing a wig. Like a real wig, not a fun wig or the kind old timey judges and politicians wore with all the powder. Ate a sandwich at Jimmy Johns and saw a cool fight that broke out in the middle of the entryway. Put half my sandwich in my purse. Got home somehow. Used the word "aggregate" a lot.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 21
Woke up. Discoverd half a sandwich in my purse. Sat on the floor and ate said sandwich with a beer. Went to lunch with Lauren. Attended tailgates. More beer. Sported two hooded sweatshirts because of the cold. Neither belonged to me. Found a $10 ticket. Football game. Communal and peppermint schnapps warmed us throughout the first quarter. Made new friends. Left at halftime. Purchased tall boys en route back to the frat house. Sat by a roaring fire. Stuffed five cans of The Beast in my outter sweatshirt's kangaroo pouch. Coined the term "beer joeys." Drank beer joeys in an alley behind Brothers. Discussed slap bracelets once inside Brothers. Danced at Logans. Watched as the other 10 of us tried to pile into a Jeep Wrangler. Whispered "Cops, guys, cops," as two officers approached. Thought about how we would go about bailing John out out of jail. Agreed with officers that we should take a cab. Stood on street corner for a long time. Did not call a cab. Boarded a white minivan filled with plates that came to our rescue. Yes, plates.

That's pretty much all the highlights that I know of. Thanks for playing.

'Till we meet again.
- Drunk Lindsay

Miffed

I got a text message today, from "Naughty Nathan". He wanted to have drinks tonight. I haven't heard from him since the night of the bare bottomed text message. Most boys would have given up by now- not Nathan. Somehow in his head, I guess we are still buddies. Its moments like this, I am so very glad that I didn't share my address with this fellow. As if I didn't have enough reasons for Chris to occupy the bottom floor of the TH- I have this fun new one.

Today was pumpkin patch day, the TH is now the proud owner of two large pumpkins and Lindsay's tiny baby pumpkin. Roommate carving fest to follow I'm sure.

-Liz

"Booty-Calls"

Chris and I came home from yet another Scared Hitless defeat to eat some Micky D's and watch The Unit. While in the middle of watching "the unit" brave through a hurricane my text message alert went off. Who could it be? "N" is back making an appearance after I accidental texted him Saturday night while trying to delete his texts from my phone to make sim card space. His text message of "Im drunk, horny and sexually vulnerable, where are you???" is still living out its infamy at the TH so it would take something huge to top it.
"N" is clearly up to the challenge tonight...

Chris and I responded as anyone truly can, with this

"N's" response? "Tease. U down with some drinks later this week?"
My response? He isnt a tease, he is all man.

Several questions come up. He thought that was my butt? Wearing boxers? He really thought I was the kind of girl to send a picture of my butt to a dude? Especially a guy who sent the text message of his "booty-call" to not just my number but three others. Isnt technology wonderful, when you can see all the people that are included on a text message to you.


I dont even know how to respond to the drinks comment. This is the same kid who after I accidentally text messaged him waited until 2 am to ask me "if i was on my way back to Addison yet."

Ladies, if you are looking for a good time, and great "booty-calls" I have just the man for you in my cell phone.

I also happen to have the theme song to the unit as my ringtone now, Chris is kind of a genius.
-Liz

Real Friends

Friends will save you from a creepy guy who hits on you at a bar.

Real friends will save you from a creepy guy who hits on you at a bar AFTER they make sure to document it with their digital cameras AND cell phone cameras. Thanks, Allison, Chris and Ashley for gifts that keep on giving.

Here is David, and me trying very hard not to laugh, which clearly isn't working. He did say 2 seconds after they took this picture that he isn't very photogenic, but his friend's girlfriend is a model. Was he channeling Blue Steel here? He also said this was going to be the cutest picture ever- so he lied.


-Liz

Nice to meet you David

I know a couple of Davids, I don't want to brag but the total of Davids I have met, hung out with, or visited in the last year is somewhat of a marvel.

The latest David is courtesy of The Loon. Who doesn't love The Loon, the standard double drinks that come in handy when a gentleman decides that "he knew me". Oh wait, he doesn't. He is from Seattle, by way of California with a stop-over in Chicago where a client needed him in Dallas so shablam here is he just waiting to mistake me for someone else. Thanks to the fact that he had been at the bar for 2 hours before we arrived, he was full of liquid courage- and my friends were willing to watch it all go down. He eventually took a picture with me, that is sure to be the cutest picture ever. Introduced me to his friends and finally left after asking for my phone number. I declined by telling him I would call him, so he gave me his business card- after I promised to call him so that I could go out with him and have a wonderful time.

Pictures were taken, a mile long trek from Republic Bar to Idle Rich Pub was taken, and we all made it home safely by last call. Yay for Ashley making a random trip down to Dallas just because, and Chris, Allison, Derek and Andy being up for an adventure.

For a good time feel free to call David at (972)6x0-x0x0.

Aminals

Here's a little secret: animals are kinda awesome. A few weeks ago WK and I were hanging out at work and decided it would be a great idea to take a day off work and go to the zoo. So we did. The idea spread and eventually Zoo Day 2006 was an official 7 person excursion. The roster included me, WK, Liz, Chris, Pat, Derek and Andy. A fine group indeed.


We went to the Fort Worth Zoo because, well, that's where everyone says to go. Apparently the Dallas Zoo is known for its daily gorilla attacks. I have a former roommate who was mauled by a lion (totally serious here), so I'd rather not tempt fate. The weather was perfect and we weren't at the office. Yay for Zoo Day!

I know you're totally interested in the animals we saw. Here is a partial list: meerkats, gorillas, orangutangs, chimpanzees, white rhinos, black rhinos, hippos (aka big floating kiwis), elephants, giraffes, ostriches, turtles, tortoises, snakes, lizards, frogs, various bugs, gilla monster, bison, meerkats, mountain lions, crocs, gators, otter, warthog, flamingos, various raptors, bears, lions, tigers, kangaroos, stingray, dik-diks.

After the zoo we went to eat some scrumptralescent bbq. It was a day for looking at and eating animals.

Oh, and there is a Grandy's inside the zoo. I think it's very important that all of you, our six readers, know that. Next time you get a hankerin' for some gravy-smothered buscuits, you know where to go. It'd be a great date, too. Take your special lady friend out for some hash browns and follow that up with a visit to the rhino area. Make a joke about being horny and you've sealed the deal. I should probably write a book about the how to's of zoo dating. More details to come.

- Lindsay

The weekend keeps on giving.

Drunk Lindsay likes to give advice, now its One-Eyed Liz's Turn.

Kids never sleep in your contacts. EVER. I don't care if its OU/Texas Weekend and you have had very little sleep, a lot to drink, and been running around for 48 hours remember to take out your contacts. Otherwise you will wake up looking like you got in a fight and have a really large headache. When your body is totally dehydrated after 3 days of fun- your eyes are also so be nice to them.

I have a cut on my cornea, a hemorrhage in the upper left quadrant of my eye, and I passed out in my Opthamologist's Chair at 10AM today. It could have been the whole no sleep last night because my eye hurt causing me to have a giant headache, that caused the entire right side of my face to swell up, or that I HATE EYE DOCTORS, or an adverse reaction to his eye drops. All I know is one minute I was in the Dr's Chair, the next I was waking up kicking my feet because I thought I was swimming. Yay, for having a day off to feel like hell. Im wondering if I still get to take Wednesday off to go to the zoo with the crew.

Seriously kids, you don't want to lose an eye or pass out in a dr's chair so take out those contacts- its simply not worth it, even if you have really cute glasses.

-Liz

OU/SAXET Weekend in a nutshell

OU/SAXET weekend has come and gone. Just a small recap.

Did I see someone get arrested?- CHECK!

Did I see someone I know go home with someone she didn't know?- CHECK!

Did I hear from this someone that she woke up next to that person, and didn't remember a)how she got home, b) who the person was c) why that person would be sleeping next to her?- CHECK!

Did I drive two girls to Sarah's Uptown Apartment with 6 guys I went to high school with shoved awkwardly into my car with them? Then drop off the girls and drive to Addison with said boys and stay up chatting with them until 4ish on Friday night?- CHECK! & CHECK!

Did I see someone I know get in a fight with a Texas guy in response to the guys big mouth/making a gross comment about a girl in our group that he likes?- CHECK!

Did I receive a text message Saturday evening from a guy I met at a wedding last week that read. "Im drunk, horny and sexually vulnerable... where are you?"- Check- and now totally frightened of said new friend.

There were more moments, but those seem the most fun. Sure we lost, but in the end the weekend was too fun and too crazy to seem all that sad about it. In the end I just hope AP* manages to win the Heisman anyway.

BOOMER!
-Liz

*AP also has the nickname "AD" for "All Day" but he has made statements that he only likes for close friends and family to call him that, since Im not either one Im sticking with his intials.

Listen Kids: Advice from Drunk Lindsay

Do not eat a measly PB&J for dinner and go to the bar. Do not smooth talk the waitress into giving you doubles. Do not park your car around the corner from your house. Do not wake up at the exact time you're supposed to be at work. Do not go in your bathroom to find the bathtub full of water. Do not walk outside and wander around until you find your car. Do not do these things. Do not be like me.

I left out a lot of fun stuff. Do not do those things either.